i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
