Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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