And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
