Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
