CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize