Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
