It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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