Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
