Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
