nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
