Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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