no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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