You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
