i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This is my gift to your gina
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
