SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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