i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
