she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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