Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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