I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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