Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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