I just threw up on my dentist
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
