Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize