the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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