Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Houston, we have a squirter
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize