I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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