How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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