I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
