I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
