She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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