they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize