You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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