he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
