Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
