They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
