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a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just pee around me
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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