apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
