think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
