I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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