shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
