Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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