Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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