That's intense
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
