it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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