my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
