thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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