wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize