So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
