Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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