I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
