I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
