She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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