All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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