I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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