We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
