I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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