Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
