I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
