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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  That text needs to switch to water.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  As in blowjob or cannibalism?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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• (530): View more from California

  Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.

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• (714): View more from California

  It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time

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• (646): View more from New York

  Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm bleeding and have questions

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