the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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