and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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