I can tuck mytits in my pants
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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