I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
