why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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