I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
