Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
