Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize