u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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