white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
