The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
